A Letter From the Old Folks Home:

The blog is about living life after 70 with joy, resilience, and purpose. A Letter from the Old Folks Home  is a source of positive, helpful advice encouraging people to set and achieve goals  and find joy in life. The blog will cover personal experiences and thoughts and concerns. Topics of blogs will include health, retirement, fashion, travel, and  living in continuing care retirement communities. The  blogs will be short and appear once a month on my website www.nadineblock.com or by email if you choose (see the contact form on this website). Come walk with me.

A Train Trip Story

A train trip is a metaphor of life as a journey.  You get on a train when you are born.  Other people board  the train with you.  Some of the people who board with you become life-long friends. You have happy destinations and some bumps along the way.  Eventually, you get off the train.  You die.  My  journey’s end is unknown, but it cannot be distant.  I am an octogenarian. 

In the mid-l980’s I got on a train with about a dozen people who traveled together for over 20 years.  We all agreed on our destination: the  end of school corporal punishment in Ohio.  We thought our journey would be short and successful.   Hitting students with boards (“paddling”) is inhumane. All humans (except school children in some states), even most animals, are protected from this barbaric practice.  Children were injured.  University and college studies found that it is ineffective in the long term and harms children. In the mid-1980’s at the beginning of our journey, sixty-eight thousand school children in Ohio were paddled, many multiple times. 

The little group in its early years was composed of two clergymen, a clinical psychologist, two superintendents of schools, a social worker, a child abuse prevention professional,  two physicians,  a PTA state director, and me, a school psychologist.  We thought the reasoning and research we brought would dazzle the legislature.  It did not.  Educator organizations and many clergy fought a ban.  Educator organizations said it was an indispensable discipline tool for teachers and clergy opponents used Old Testament words to demonstrate God’s affirmation.   I led the legislative fight which eventually gained the support of fifty statewide organizations.   The trip took longer than we thought. There were many stops along the way.   Even when our bills went down to defeat, we celebrated with new supporters. Our group enjoyed our time together.  Social progress moves at a snail’s pace.  Eventually, we changed enough minds and hearts to succeed. Paddling ended with a ban in Ohio public schools in  2009.  I recounted this journey in  Breaking the Paddle: Ending School Corporal Punishment (Center for Effective Discipline, 2013).

In old age, we look back on our lives and savor the happy days.  I am jubilant  knowing that school children in Ohio no longer fear being hit with boards.  A significant friend on the trip, Jack Conrath, told me that Covid has curtailed his hugs as greetings to old friends.  He has substituted telling friends what they mean to him for his previous hugs. What a wonderful idea! He also knows he is near the  end of his journey.  

Why not tell friends what they mean to you now?  The devoted people  who traveled together  on that journey mean a lot to me.  I send virtual hugs,  love and greetings to my friends on this journey.  

NOT in the slow lane, YET

The blog is about living life after 70 with joy, resilience, and purpose. NOT in the slow lane, YET is a source of positive, helpful advice encouraging people to set and achieve goals  and find joy in life. The blog will cover firsthand experiences and thoughts and concerns. Topics of blogs will be health, retirement, fashion, travel, and  living in continuing care retirement communities. The  blogs will be short and appear once a month on my website www.nadineblock.com or by email if you choose.  Nadine Block

Christmas 2022 in My Senior Life Plan Community

“Deck the halls with boughs of holly” is sung and put into practice  here at the Old Folks Home. Fresh boughs and twinkling lights grace outdoor trees and the building entrance.  Musicians often entertain after dinner in the weeks before Christmas.  Musical events are likely to  end with audience sing-alongs.    Christmas trees and a collection of Nutcrackers decorate public areas. A  Christmas party and Christmas dinner are scheduled. There is an increase in smiling faces here at the Old Folks Home.

My apartment in independent living has  reminders of the holidays, a poinsettia, a couple of live wreaths, and fragrant candles.  I gave away my tree and decorations before moving here.  I have no place to store them.  I am happy to enjoy public area decoration.  If I really want to keep some familiar holiday  practices, I can sign up to help decorate trees and display the nutcrackers. 

I sit in front of a public room Christmas tree and let my mind wander to happy holidays when my husband and I played Santa after the children went to bed.  I remember wrapping presents and  shushing him from cursing as he put together toys. Little ears were listening as mine once were on Christmas Eve waiting for Santa.    My sister and I, little preschoolers,  laid fitfully in our bed Christmas Eve. We peeked out the window looking for Santa.   Our family farm in Wisconsin  was quiet.  The buildings, fences and snow were lit by a bright full moon.  It was impossible to sleep. We finally fell asleep after we heard reindeer paws on the roof. Santa had come.  A few years later, the same sister and I convinced our younger brother to believe in Santa until he was in fourth grade.  Of course, his friends told him the truth, but he refused to believe them because his big sisters said there was a Santa.  Our family of five children remains close and we still believe one another’s lies.

If I sit long enough reminiscing, Christmas sad times come back.  My husband died on December 21st of last year.  His last years were dimmed by dementia and my grieving is complicated. My youngest son died from cancer two years ago.  His cancer journey began in his forties.   I am still mad at God about that.    I let the memories flow through me.  I cannot remove the grief, anger, and sadness. It hits me at unexpected times. Someone mentions a recent family death, or  a photo of my deceased son shows up  on Facebook and I tear up.  

The old folk’s home is full of elders whose memories of Christmas, like mine, are both sad and happy.  All of us  have lost dear ones.  With silent  admiration and warm love, we feel unspoken kinship.

I remember the fork in the road that I want to take.  I want to honor but not dwell on sad times.  I think about why I am lucky.   That gets boring and ineffective after a while. I laugh.  It gets me out of a sad swoon.  I decide to go to Happy Hour and have a glass of with wine with my neighbors.   Cheers and happy holidays to all.  Nadine Block

 

To learn more:

Stress, depression, and the holidays: Tips for coping

Mayo Clinic:  https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/stress/art-20047544

Health Line: How to Deal with Stress and Depression During the Holidays

https://www.healthline.com/health/depression/holiday-blues

 

 

A letter from an old folk’s home

The blog is about living life after 70 with joy, resilience, and purpose. A Letter from the old folks’ home:  NOT in the slow lane, YET is a source of positive, helpful advice encouraging people to set and achieve goals  and find joy in life. The blog will cover firsthand experiences and thoughts and concerns. Topics of blogs will be health, retirement, fashion, travel, and  living in continuing care retirement communities. The  blogs will be short and appear at least once a month on my website www.nadineblock.com or by email if you choose. 

Do seniors need to look old and frumpy? Can they be stylish? 

 Think about the poem, “Warning,” by Jenny Joseph. 

“When I am an old woman I shall wear purple, With a red hat which does not go, and doesn’t suit me. And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves, And satin sandals, and say we’ve no money for butter.”  

You might think that look would be frumpy. I propose that Jenny Joseph is talking about an old woman with style. If she knows color, she will choose a complimentary red/purple. She is a woman who knows who she is and develops a memorable look, a style.  It leads others to follow.

Fashion in clothing regards clothing of the moment,  current fads. At my age, being fashionable seems hopeless. Imagine an 85-year-old in a sleeveless mini-dress with tractor-trek sole boots. Throw in a crocheted swimsuit. Scary, hysterical. I look at the latest fashions and do not despair. Sometimes I find something that works for me. This year, it is the hoodie under a blazer. I can wear a lightweight hoodie under a blazer and look fashionable. 

Style has a timeless, memorable look.  Elderly women and  men can be stylish. I can still wear dresses. Straight cut, midi- dresses in muted colors with long or three-quarter length sleeves are perfect for me. For casual wear, long straight leg pants and a nice black blazer and crisp white shirt or a nice white tee work for me. Men’s wear favors classic styles, double-breasted fitted sport coats and double-breasted overcoats. Part of my  style involves my hair. I let it grow out white. It is heavy and attractive, but boring. I decided to get feather extensions, about three different sets of red-brown and teal blue rooster feathers. I bought all the equipment needed for about $25 and feather extensions online (Amazon and Etsy). I found a hairdresser who knows how to insert them. She  puts new ones in my hair with bead holders about every three to four weeks.

I asked my niece, Linzey, a fashion executive, what style advice she has for seniors. Linzey says, “I think one huge advantage that those over seventy have is that they have lived through all the trends and brands that continue to circle back around. You can experiment with bringing them all back around in a refined and unique way.”

Tips from Linzey:

“- Embrace nostalgia, wear meaningful items from various times in your life that tell a story or feel like home to you.

– Play with color, whether it is choosing complimentary colors or creating a monochromatic look with different shades of just one color.

– Conversely, play with neutrals. Layer neutrals. Try an all-white look. Do not be afraid of black and brown together, a huge upcoming trend.

– Fabric matters. Natural and more sustainable fabrics like cotton, linen and silk are not only usually more comfortable but elevate a look. 

–  Natural hair is on trend, younger women going grey are letting it be and embracing it.”

I have four siblings all over seventy who Zoom weekly. I asked them what they think style is at their age.

“For a guy, a smart sport coat with relaxed straight jeans, maybe with a little stretch in them and a nice tee shirt.”

“For a guy, a great pair of sunglasses. I found a pair of the Alpina M6’s at an estate sale. They are one of the most wanted vintage glasses, all handmade between l987 and 1991.”

“For a woman, an attractive hat that suits the occasion. I collect them. People give me hats.”

“For a woman, colorful scarves to hide neck wrinkles and throw on over jackets and dresses.”

“For a man, a great pair of socks.”

“For a woman, high-waisted relaxed jeans with a cropped jacket.”

“For a woman, relaxed  jeans, a black blazer and  a crisp white shirt.”

“For a woman, a haircut ending just below the chin line, to cover a sagging chin.”

“For a woman, a little black dress midi length with long sleeves and pearls or colorful accessories.”

We do not need to look old and frumpy; With good choices, we can be fashionable.  We can always be stylish.