A letter from an old folk’s home

The blog is about living life after 70 with joy, resilience, and purpose. A Letter from the old folks’ home:  NOT in the slow lane, YET is a source of positive, helpful advice encouraging people to set and achieve goals  and find joy in life. The blog will cover firsthand experiences and thoughts and concerns. Topics of blogs will be health, retirement, fashion, travel, and  living in continuing care retirement communities. The  blogs will be short and appear at least once a month on my website www.nadineblock.com or by email if you choose. 

Do seniors need to look old and frumpy? Can they be stylish? 

 Think about the poem, “Warning,” by Jenny Joseph. 

“When I am an old woman I shall wear purple, With a red hat which does not go, and doesn’t suit me. And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves, And satin sandals, and say we’ve no money for butter.”  

You might think that look would be frumpy. I propose that Jenny Joseph is talking about an old woman with style. If she knows color, she will choose a complimentary red/purple. She is a woman who knows who she is and develops a memorable look, a style.  It leads others to follow.

Style has a timeless, memorable look.  Elderly women and  men can be stylish. I can still wear dresses. Straight cut, midi- dresses in muted colors with long or three-quarter length sleeves are perfect for me. For casual wear, long straight leg pants and a nice black blazer and crisp white shirt or a nice white tee work for me. Men’s wear favors classic styles, double-breasted fitted sport coats and double-breasted overcoats. Part of my  style involves my hair. I let it grow out white. It is heavy and attractive, but boring. I decided to get feather extensions, about three different sets of red-brown and teal blue rooster feathers. I bought all the equipment needed for about $25 and feather extensions online (Amazon and Etsy). I found a hairdresser who knows how to insert them. She  puts new ones in my hair with bead holders about every three to four weeks.

I asked my niece, Linzey, a fashion executive, what style advice she has for seniors. Linzey says, “I think one huge advantage that those over seventy have is that they have lived through all the trends and brands that continue to circle back around. You can experiment with bringing them all back around in a refined and unique way.”

– Conversely, play with neutrals. Layer neutrals. Try an all-white look. Do not be afraid of black and brown together, a huge upcoming trend.

– Fabric matters. Natural and more sustainable fabrics like cotton, linen and silk are not only usually more comfortable but elevate a look. 

–  Natural hair is on trend, younger women going grey are letting it be and embracing it.”

I have four siblings all over seventy who Zoom weekly. I asked them what they think style is at their age.

“For a guy, a great pair of sunglasses. I found a pair of the Alpina M6’s at an estate sale. They are one of the most wanted vintage glasses, all handmade between l987 and 1991.”

“For a woman, colorful scarves to hide neck wrinkles and throw on over jackets and dresses.”

“For a man, a great pair of socks.”

“For a woman, high-waisted relaxed jeans with a cropped jacket.”

“For a woman, relaxed  jeans, a black blazer and  a crisp white shirt.”

“For a woman, a little black dress midi length with long sleeves and pearls or colorful accessories.”

We do not need to look old and frumpy; With good choices, we can be fashionable.  We can always be stylish.   

NOT in the slow lane, YET

The blog is about living life after 70 with joy, resilience, and purpose. NOT in the slow lane, YET is a source of positive, helpful advice encouraging people to set and achieve goals  and find joy in life. The blog will cover firsthand experiences and thoughts and concerns. Topics of blogs will be health, retirement, fashion, travel, and  living in continuing care retirement communities. The  blogs will be short and appear once a month on my website www.nadineblock.com or by email if you choose.  Nadine Block

Christmas 2022 at the Old Folks Home

“Deck the halls with boughs of holly” is sung and put into practice  here at the Old Folks Home. Fresh boughs and twinkling lights grace outdoor trees and the building entrance.  Musicians often entertain after dinner in the weeks before Christmas.  Musical events are likely to  end with audience sing-alongs.    Christmas trees and a collection of Nutcrackers decorate public areas. A  Christmas party and Christmas dinner are scheduled. There is an increase in smiling faces here at the Old Folks Home.

My apartment in independent living has  reminders of the holidays, a poinsettia, a couple of live wreaths, and fragrant candles.  I gave away my tree and decorations before moving here.  I have no place to store them.  I am happy to enjoy public area decoration.  If I really want to keep some familiar holiday  practices, I can sign up to help decorate trees and display the nutcrackers. 

I sit in front of a public room Christmas tree and let my mind wander to happy holidays when my husband and I played Santa after the children went to bed.  I remember wrapping presents and  shushing him from cursing as he put together toys. Little ears were listening as mine once were on Christmas Eve waiting for Santa.    My sister and I, little preschoolers,  laid fitfully in our bed Christmas Eve. We peeked out the window looking for Santa.   Our family farm in Wisconsin  was quiet.  The buildings, fences and snow were lit by a bright full moon.  It was impossible to sleep. We finally fell asleep after we heard reindeer paws on the roof. Santa had come.  A few years later, the same sister and I convinced our younger brother to believe in Santa until he was in fourth grade.  Of course, his friends told him the truth, but he refused to believe them because his big sisters said there was a Santa.  Our family of five children remains close and we still believe one another’s lies.

Stress, depression, and the holidays: Tips for coping

A Letter From the Old Folks Home:

The blog is about living life after 70 with joy, resilience, and purpose. A Letter from the Old Folks Home  is a source of positive, helpful advice encouraging people to set and achieve goals  and find joy in life. The blog will cover personal experiences and thoughts and concerns. Topics of blogs will include health, retirement, fashion, travel, and  living in continuing care retirement communities. The  blogs will be short and appear once a month on my website www.nadineblock.com or by email if you choose (see the contact form on this website). Come walk with me.

 A Letter From the Old Folks’ Home:  Keeping Physically Fit 

“Keep moving! If you don’t, they will plant you.”  By Sarah Ludwig (Mom)

My mother lived to be 101 years old. She lived what she preached. She kept moving without a Fitbit and she never went to a gym. She never sat still and made sure no one else did either. We lived on a dairy farm. It was easy to keep everyone busy. I wrote about her in Remembering Rosie: Memories of a Wisconsin Farm Girl.

Like my mom, I keep busy. My goal is 8,000 steps a day six days a week. Over the holidays, I did some traveling to see family and have fallen off a bit.  I am getting back into the routine.  Many experts say walking at least 30 minutes a day, three times a week is best. Some experts recommend  taking 7500 steps a day. I do resistance training for 25 minutes twice a week, and floor work (yoga, plank, and stretching) once or twice a week. I do a little balance work each day, mostly practicing standing on one leg at a time for 20 seconds.  

Falls do not just happen. Scientists link  several risk factors to falling, including muscle weakness, problems with balance, and blood pressure that drops too low when you get up from lying down or sitting. Foot problems that cause pain and unsafe footwear can cause falls.

I strengthen my muscles by doing resistance training. I had a personal trainer for six weeks in my retirement community gym. I learned to use the machines for strength. They are high tech, interactive machines called TechnoGym. We have fitness classes for balance, strength, and even a Parkinson’s program for those who need it. I walk carefully on uneven surfaces. I carry my iPhone and wear an alarm device in case I  fall. I enrolled in  Smart911 online. It can alert and provide medical information to  local  EMTs (even in  other communities in the US when I travel) on the way to help me when they are called.  I walk all year long even in winter. If it is raining, icy or snow covers the walk, or when it is  too hot,  I  go to the gym to  use the treadmill. 

Get your hearing and vision assessed regularly. 

It is a lot to remember. Most of all, remember Mom’s advice. ”Keep moving.”

It is never too late to start exercise. 

How Older Adults Can Get Started With Exercise:

“You Can Start Exercising After Age 60—Here’s How”:  Cleveland Clinic

“How Older Adults Can Get Started With Exercise”:  National Institute on Aging

A Letter From the Old Folks Home:

The blog is about living life after 70 with joy, resilience, and purpose. A Letter from the Old Folks Home  is a source of positive, helpful advice encouraging people to set and achieve goals  and find joy in life. The blog will cover personal experiences and thoughts and concerns. Topics of blogs will include health, retirement, fashion, travel, and  living in continuing care retirement communities. The  blogs will be short and appear once a month on my website www.nadineblock.com or by email if you choose (see the contact form on this website). Come walk with me.

A Train Trip Story

A train trip is a metaphor of life as a journey.  You get on a train when you are born.  Other people board  the train with you.  Some of the people who board with you become life-long friends. You have happy destinations and some bumps along the way.  Eventually, you get off the train.  You die.  My  journey’s end is unknown, but it cannot be distant.  I am an octogenarian. 

In the mid-l980’s I got on a train with about a dozen people who traveled together for over 20 years.  We all agreed on our destination: the  end of school corporal punishment in Ohio.  We thought our journey would be short and successful.   Hitting students with boards (“paddling”) is inhumane. All humans (except school children in some states), even most animals, are protected from this barbaric practice.  Children were injured.  University and college studies found that it is ineffective in the long term and harms children. In the mid-1980’s at the beginning of our journey, sixty-eight thousand school children in Ohio were paddled, many multiple times. 

The little group in its early years was composed of two clergymen, a clinical psychologist, two superintendents of schools, a social worker, a child abuse prevention professional,  two physicians,  a PTA state director, and me, a school psychologist.  We thought the reasoning and research we brought would dazzle the legislature.  It did not.  Educator organizations and many clergy fought a ban.  Educator organizations said it was an indispensable discipline tool for teachers and clergy opponents used Old Testament words to demonstrate God’s affirmation.   I led the legislative fight which eventually gained the support of fifty statewide organizations.   The trip took longer than we thought. There were many stops along the way.   Even when our bills went down to defeat, we celebrated with new supporters. Our group enjoyed our time together.  Social progress moves at a snail’s pace.  Eventually, we changed enough minds and hearts to succeed. Paddling ended with a ban in Ohio public schools in  2009.  I recounted this journey in  Breaking the Paddle: Ending School Corporal Punishment (Center for Effective Discipline, 2013).

In old age, we look back on our lives and savor the happy days.  I am jubilant  knowing that school children in Ohio no longer fear being hit with boards.  A significant friend on the trip, Jack Conrath, told me that Covid has curtailed his hugs as greetings to old friends.  He has substituted telling friends what they mean to him for his previous hugs. What a wonderful idea! He also knows he is near the  end of his journey.  

Why not tell friends what they mean to you now?  The devoted people  who traveled together  on that journey mean a lot to me.  I send virtual hugs,  love and greetings to my friends on this journey.  

NOT in the slow lane, YET

The blog is about living life after 70 with joy, resilience, and purpose. NOT in the slow lane, YET is a source of positive, helpful advice encouraging people to set and achieve goals and find joy in life. The blog will cover personal experiences and thoughts and concerns. Topics of blogs will be health, retirement, fashion, travel, and living in continuing care retirement communities. The blogs will be short and appear at least once a month on my website www.nadineblock.com or by email if you choose. Come walk with me.

Turn a grumpy rant into a smile!

Someone wrote to my blog NOT in the slow lane YET that I viewed the world through rose-colored glasses.  I need to clear up that misunderstanding. Sometimes I am a crabby senior citizen who thinks the world is going to hell. Grrrrr.

This little note written by an unknown source appeared in my email. I threw my arm in the air and fist pumped, “You tell em girl!”

Not only does my grocery store have me bag my groceries in personal shopping bags (or get charged for paper ones),  but the cashier no longer handles cash.  I need to pull cash from a clear plastic bag in my purse (I know that sounds a little looney, but bills are easier to see than in a wallet), and  I put it in an elaborate change apparatus.   After my purchase, it proceeds to cough out bills and coins, some falling to the floor where I retrieve them while anticipating a scream from my sciatic nerve.

Years ago, I forecast that the decline of service would escalate.  I think it began when we started pumping  our own gas.  In my childhood, an attendant pumped gas. In rich communities, attendants wore snappy uniforms.  In poor communities, they crawled out from under cars they were working on to do the gas pumping duties.

Attendants not only pumped gas but checked oil and tire pressures and washed car windows.   

Herb Timms invented the system in 1964 that allowed an attendant in the store to activate the gas pumps without leaving the store. It was a cost-saving device.  Fewer people needed to be hired. It took a while to catch on because most states had  fire codes that did not allow self-service and because it was costly to implement.   

Forty-eight states changed their fire codes to allow for individuals to pump their own gas by the early l980’s.   The devices were not cheap: they cost $10,000. It took years to get the system widely available.

When she was in her nineties (about 2010), my mother had a gas station in her small town of Abbotsford Wisconsin she called “Widows’ Gas Station” where an attendant  pumped gas, checked tires and washed windows.  It survived until that time because the device was costly and there were quite a few widows in town who bought their gas.

What is in our future?  A nursing home staffed by robots?  An ATM Pharmacy?  A phlebotomist kiosk for blood tests?   List future machines that might take over for people. Draw a picture like I did.  It might make you smile.

“A Brief History of Self-Serve Gas Stations” By Petroleum Service Company on Jan 22, 2018

Go from GRRRRR to GRIN. Laugh more!

“Stress relief from laughter? It’s no joke,” Mayo Clinic

NOT in the slow lane, YET

The blog is about living life after 70 with joy, resilience, and purpose. It is a source of positive, helpful advice encouraging people to set and achieve goals  and find joy in life. The blog will cover firsthand experiences, thoughts, and concerns. Topics of blogs will be health, retirement, fashion, travel, and  living in continuing care retirement communities. The blogs will be short and appear at least once a month on my website www.nadineblock.com or by email if you choose. Come walk with me.

A gift to your family: Write a memoir.

Have you thought about sharing your experiences and life lessons with others?   Do you want your memories to be remembered? Do you want to improve your writing?  Are you looking for something to do that is useful and keeps you busy?

 Have you thought about writing a memoir?  

Why did I write a memoir? 

The author, Isabel Allende, states: “Write what should not be forgotten.” 

Sometimes, writers want to change minds and hearts like I did in my books about ending hitting  of children, Breaking the Paddle: Ending School Corporal Punishment and This Hurts Me More Than It Hurts You:  Children Share How Spanking Hurts and What To Do Instead (Publisher of both: Center for Effective Discipline). Social progress is slow, and I wanted to push along the idea that children deserve the same legal protection adults have to  be  free from physical punishment. Over sixty countries do not allow children to be hit, even in homes.  All US states allow hitting children in families and eighteen  states still allow paddling in schools. I wanted to add my knowledge and experience to history.

Memoirs are different.  They are stories about important times in our lives.  In writing Remembering Rosie: Memories of a Wisconsin Farm Girl (Page Publishing, Inc. 2021),  I hoped to provide my grandchildren with an authentic and entertaining  story about the life of  farm children in  the 1950’s when I grew up. I wanted to gain their respect for the contributions of our pioneer families. I was looking at the end of my life and wanted to make sense of it.   I did not make a list of why I was writing a memoir. I just knew that I had to do it.

Writing has always  been a link to my seven grandchildren who live out of state. They are now in their teens and early twenties. When they were little,  I tried to connect with them through small books (12 in total).   I wrote, illustrated, and privately  published stories for children  about my travels. I was grateful for being able to travel.  I hoped travel would be part of their lives. I wrote fanciful stories about countries I visited and used travel photos and my  drawings of imaginary figures such as “Corey the Camel in Timbuktu” and “ Casey the Cat in Kathmandu.”  As they grew older, I added historical and geographical information to my travel stories. 

I  compiled a picture book (Our Family: Wisconsin Pioneers) with biographies of  our German and Lithuanian immigrant families who were pioneers in Wisconsin. One day one of my grandchildren was complaining about the number of chores expected of him. I thought, “Someday I will write about real W-O-R-K,  the hard and dangerous work of farm children 80 years ago.” 

My memoir, Remembering Rosie: Memories of a Wisconsin Farm Girl  gives my grandchildren a snapshot of my life  on a Wisconsin dairy farm.  The main characters are my four siblings and my parents.  My mom was an important part of the story.  She suffered from depression as a young wife but found her own happiness and joy owning her own business.  To our delight, she also found  her long-lost sense of humor and wit.  Her recovery was a lesson in finding a place where you can grow rather than feel trapped.  A Gannett reporter said my book is a feminist farm memoir.

I decided to write about my early years in a mostly linear manner, from birth to leaving home as a young adult. The subjects were historical and personal:  work of children, education, economics,  medicine, religion,  and family dynamics. My four siblings contributed their memories as I wrote chapters.  I wrote most of it during our Covid shut-in times.  We communicated by zoom and email. My siblings helped me recall forgotten events.  It was a great bonding experience for our family. 

Halfway through drafting the memoir, I decided to get it published  because it might appeal to people who grew up on family farms or visited them as children.   It also might appeal to people who like nostalgic books about life in the past.   Covid lockdowns also had me looking back to calmer times.  

Was I happy I wrote the memoir?

Yes. I got to know myself  better. I realized that I thrive on structure, even in old age. An hour of physical exercise and two hours of writing or painting are daily goals for me. 

I learned more about my family relationships.  My siblings and I  were sometimes surprised at how differently we remembered events. One of my brothers commented on a memory I offered,  “Did we grow up in the same house?”  How lucky I was able to share memories of a close-knit family and to appreciate  and gain from their viewpoints!

I became a better writer.  In my work life, I authored reports and position papers requiring research interpretation, providing  conclusions and making recommendations. In writing a memoir, I  learned to think about more than facts and conclusions.  I learned to care more about piquing the interests of the reader while still being true to representation of facts and historical information.  I had to learn to write like a fiction writer.

Everyone has a story to tell.   When you are gone, your stories may die with you unless you write them down.  You may  write to learn more about your ancestors and gain insight into them. You may want to put into words what meaning life holds for you. Your words may become lessons that help others. You may  write to get to know yourself better. You may want to become a better writer. I wrote for all those reasons.  

• Think about an important part of your life.  Write down memories and scenes from that time. If you have painful memories, let them come back, cope with them, and put them into words. 
• Organize the memories.  Ask family members to share memories and family photos.  Ask them to tell the stories behind the photos. 
• Check Ancestry.com or other genealogical websites for information about your family. 
• Do historical reading on that period for information and to bring back memories. 
• Check with your local library or senior center to see if they have classes on writing  a memoir. 

 Share your story  with a couple of friends or family members and ask for comments.  Most people will cheer you on.  You have begun your memoir. Keep writing.

More to think about:

How to Write a Memoir: 13 Steps for a Gripping Life Story

Six Steps to get you started in writing your memoirs 

A Letter From the Old Folks Home:

The blog is about living life after 70 with joy, resilience, and purpose. A Letter from the Old Folks Home  is a source of positive, helpful advice encouraging people to set and achieve goals  and find joy in life. The blog will cover personal experiences and thoughts and concerns. Topics of blogs will include health, retirement, fashion, travel, and  living in continuing care retirement communities. The blogs will be short and appear once a month on my website www.nadineblock.com or by email if you choose (see the contact form on this website). Come walk with me.

Ageism: Prejudice or discrimination against people based on their age.  

I had just gleefully emailed cartoons about old people to my four over-seventy siblings. A couple of the cartoons featured Maxine, the grumpy old cartoon lady.   I read them again to have another laugh before filing them.  One, with a daffy-looking senior, said,  “How do I know what I am doing tomorrow? I do not know what today is.”  That seemed mean.  Did passing on those cartoons make me guilty of ageism?  Suddenly, I felt ageism guilt.

I  read a  book and online articles  on ageism and decided to get some in-person experiences.  I emailed a few ladies in my senior retirement community inviting them for “A Conversation on Ageism.”  I said I would bring wine and cheese.  I invited eight.  Seven came.  After a brief introduction on ageism and a one-pager with statements and resources, I presented conversation starters which focused on their experiences. These are their comments.

What are stereotypes of seniors?

Negative: Q-tips (white hair), crabby, doddering old people who did not take care of themselves, set in their ways, hard of hearing, blind, poor drivers, weak, feeble,  crazy old man, senile old woman, computer illiterates,  old geezer, and dirty old man.

Positive:  News stories about seniors who are active, productive, and contribute to their communities in old age.

Neutral:  It used to be worse.  It was not long ago that you were “old” at fifty.

What are your experiences of ageism?

The first time I went to my doctor after my husband died, the nurse started talking to my daughter instead of me.  She took my arm and guided me when we walked and asked if I wanted a wheelchair.  She had known me for years. Why was I was suddenly treated like a person who could not walk or talk?

We must be careful when talking to younger people…our use of words sometimes brings looks of condescension.

It took me nine months to get a primary doctor.  They limit Medicare patients.   

At age 55, it is so clear that they want to get rid of you at work so they can hire someone cheaper. 

Doctors say, “At your age, you don’t need that test.”  What if I have someone in my immediate family who died from colon cancer or cervical cancer? What if I would like to live a few years longer?

The drugs they want me to take  are sometimes not normed on people my age. How do I know they will work and not be harmful?  I investigated getting into  treatment trials.  They will not accept seniors for drug or other treatment trials.

At my age, I see several specialists. The doctors have a nonchalant approach of adding more drugs to my list.  They might interact with the other drugs prescribed by other doctors. Who checks?  There is not enough team approach to prescribing.

I feel invisible.  What do I have to do to be seen as I am?

Commercials are only about young people.  Clothes are not tailored or designed for old people.  We do not dress like women did years ago.  They do not treat us like we are interested in clothing.  We travel and want to look nice.

You must be confident in your own skin to survive ageism.

Ageism is a term that was used by Robert Neil Butler in 1969 to describe bias against older people. His book Why Survive?  Being Old in America won a Pulitzer prize.  When we think of stereotypes, we may act by staying away from old people or treating  them in demeaning ways. This can happen in institutions like hospitals, nursing homes, the workplace, the media, and the legal system. It can happen in social exchanges when old people are ignored or spoken to.  It happens when we accept stereotypes and apply them to ourselves. 

Research shows increased stress, a decreased will to live,  less desire to live a healthy lifestyle, a slower recovery from illness,  and a shortened life span.

Think of a person who refuses to get a hearing aid because it makes her look old (and it is costly and not paid for by Medicare).

Think of a person in a wheelchair who stays in the house all day instead of getting out because he does not want to look old and handicapped.

Think of abused and neglected seniors:  At least 10% of adults aged sixty-five and older will experience some form of elder abuse each year (Elder abuse statistics, U.S. Department of Justice).

Think of an old person who refuses to go to the doctor for a health problem because he is going to die anyway.

What you can do:

Educate yourself and others:

“Ageism is a global challenge: UN” (who.int) World Health Organization (WHO) 

“What is Ageism & How Does it Affect Health,” (mentalhealthandaging.com)Medical News Today, November 3, 2021  

 Applewhite, Ashton: This Chair Rocks: A Manifesto Against Ageism, Celadon books, New York, New York, 2016   

“Fact-filled, witty, a call to arms for older folks.”   Nadine Block

NOT in the slow lane, YET 

The blog is about living life after 70 with joy, resilience, and purpose. NOT in the slow lane, YET is a source of positive, helpful advice encouraging people to set and achieve goals  and find joy in life. The blog will cover personal experiences and thoughts and concerns. Topics of blogs will include health, retirement, fashion, travel, and  living in continuing care retirement communities. The blogs will be short and appear at least once a month on my website www.nadineblock.com or by email if you choose.

Last month I wrote about the effects of ageism, a term defined as  prejudice or  discrimination on grounds of a person’s age.   What five words come to mind when you think of older people? Do you think they are  calm, contemplative, and wise,  or do you think they are slow, stubborn, and out of touch?  I list some of mine in this blog. 

What can I do about Ageism?

I started by looking in the mirror and checking my own stereotypes of aging.    I blamed old age for forgetting a name or misplacing my cell phone.  I thought most old people have short attention spans. I laughed at cartoons about aging. Yes, I used words like “old hag,” “Over-the-Hill,” and “Old Fogey” describing older people.  Just this week I said, “You can teach an old dog a new trick, but it takes a long  time.”  I have not taken a 180-degree turn, but I am more aware of my own negative perceptions. Once we are aware of them,  we can challenge our thinking.  I went through my blogs and removed ageism’s. There may still be some there.

We should not be too hard on ourselves.   We started learning stereotypes about older people  before we went to school. Our beliefs about aging came from words and actions in our families and communities, advertising,  movies, social media, and books.  We learned them.  We need to unlearn them. 

When I catch myself using an ageism stereotype,  I sometimes self-talk an alternative statement.   “Old people have attention spans of fleas “ could be changed to “Some older people have attention span problems.”   I can make a verbal correction as a response to my own words. I can talk about ageism with friends to solidify my attempts to correct my own perceptions and I can help raise awareness for others.  

What can I do when I am challenged by ageist remarks?

Now that I am more aware of ageism, I find it in medical care, in social events, and  in  family relationships.  What can I do when someone seems  prejudiced against me because of ageism?

I could react like my mother who told a medical worker,  “You can’t treat me that way just because I am old.” She got their attention. She lived to be 101 so she had more chances to correct medical workers.  My brother called a doctor who was caring for our mother to inquire about how she developed MRSA after a shoulder operation.  He said, “Maybe her shoulder skin wasn’t clean.”  My brother was incensed!  “That’s your job,”  he said.

It is nice to have a family advocate but that is not always available.  If you feel you are being belittled, ignored or the subject of condescension or rudeness, you have a right to respond.  You must be your own advocate.

There are other ways to react to being stereotyped as old and less entitled to respect.  I might  say, “Tell me more. What do you mean?”   I listen to what the person says.  I  may be satisfied with their answer, but I remind myself not to back down if their answer is still demeaning.  I can tell them how it feels to hear their words, like my mom did but, in a less stinging way.  

Educate myself about ageism:  Read articles and books and talk to people who are knowledgeable.  We should be proud of being life-long learners.  People who keep learning and evolving stay young. 

Support programs that provide older people with experiences like tutoring, mentoring, and volunteering in schools and other community organizations:

Seek out interage experiences: Such experiences provide opportunities for us to learn new things and make new friends.  Younger people can understand that we are all different and develop empathy for older people.   A friend and I went to an art event. We dressed in cocktail clothes. Most of the attendees were young creatives who came in elaborate costumes.  What fun that was.  We sat with a young couturier and her friend. The conversation was exciting.  Next year I will put together a costume for the event.

Post positive quotes about older people in our communities to counteract negative stereotypes:

“Youth can walk faster but the elder knows the road.” African proverb.

“Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional.”  Carroll Bryant

If you observe ageist behaviors and speech, speak up. Let them know such behavior is unacceptable.  Continue to educate yourself and others. Support  programs that provide  workplace environment improvements, social opportunities, and medical care for older people.    People with positive stereotypes of living appear to live longer and be happier. Supporting positive perceptions of older people helps create a kinder and more respectful society for all people.   

This study indicates people with positive perceptions of aging live longer.

Longevity increased by positive self-perceptions of aging.

NOT in the slow lane, YET

The blog is about living life after 70 with joy, resilience, and purpose. NOT in the slow lane, YET is a source of positive, helpful advice encouraging people to set and achieve goals and find joy in life. The blog will cover personal experiences and thoughts and concerns. Topics of blogs will be health, retirement, fashion, travel, and living in continuing care retirement communities. The blogs will be short and appear at least once a month on my website www.nadineblock.com or by email if you choose. Come walk with me. Oil paintings from my July 2023 exhibit

Sydney

Istanbul Market

Sassy Sisters

Floral Fantasy

ART IS GOOD FOR US

Art is good for me whether I  see it,  or  feel it, or create it.   It increases my happiness, lowers my anxiety, boosts my creativity, and stimulates my mind.

I felt the effects of art as a small child in a one-room rural school in Wisconsin.   It did not come from taking  art classes.  Our solo teacher had more than forty students in grades 1-8 to teach reading, writing and arithmetic.  There was  little time to teach art.  I spent hours with a box of cards having  a picture of art on one side and a story about the artist on the other.  I tried to reproduce the art with pencils and crayons.  Drawing was pleasing.  It was an opportunity for self-expression.  Dreaming that I might see an  original piece of art from my cards in a museum in France, or Spain, Italy, or England was inspirational.  It gave me a purpose in life.

As an adult, I was fortunate to be able to travel to many countries where I saw great works of art. My husband enjoyed art too.   Our first destination  in a  country was usually an art museum. It was exciting to see the  magnificent sizes of some paintings and the surprisingly small sizes of others. I always enjoyed contemporary art, more abstract than representative art.    I collected art, at least as much as I could afford.  That gave me a sense of purpose.  I was connected to the world through art. 

When I retired I decided to learn to paint.  For the past twelve years, I  have taken art classes online, in a cultural arts center, and from four local artists.  I currently take zoom classes from an artist.  Talking through my work with instructors and observing others has helped me improve my skills.   It is therapeutic for a slight essential tremor that has developed in my right hand.  Even as I sometimes struggle using small brushes, I tell myself,  “This is good for me.” It improves my hand-eye coordination, my problem-solving skills, and attention.  

 I took human figure painting three hours a week for five years.  I was intently involved in trying to bring the personality and form of the model onto canvas.  After the three hours of  painting, I was in a Zen mood as I put down my brushes and observed my  art. It blew away feelings of anxiety and depression.  It helped focus my mind.   During times of challenges, it helped stimulate my mind and improve my sense of well-being.  

Through painting, I developed an artsy friendship group,  a mixture of ages and backgrounds born through painting together.  We helped one another with art projects,  visited exhibits together, and developed a fondness for one another.  I miss being an active  part of those groups.  My world has gotten a little smaller without them.  Carrying all my supplies and parking downtown to take part in group instruction is getting difficult. Getting to evening show openings is difficult.   I‘ve switched to zoom with an art teacher and the companionship of a few artists in my care facility.  We have a lovely art studio where I can leave my easel and supplies.  Life is still exciting,  and art is still immensely enjoyable.

Creating art is challenging.  I make a few accommodations to age and  declining endurance. I have trouble painting  fine lines and small  objects. So, I go bigger and more abstract.    I find it hard to paint for three hours, so I am happy to paint for an hour or so at a time.  I am so happy that I can still find joy in art.   It improves my emotional and mental well-being whether it is by creating it  or seeing it or feeling it.

Visit an art museum. Create your own piece of art.   It is never too late to learn to draw, paint, and sculpt. Most communities have senior art classes.  There are online tutorials about how to start an art project.  Many are excellent. 

Want to know more?

Mental Health Foundation (UK)  How Arts Can Help Improve Your Mental Health

The Mental Health Benefits of Art: Scripps Affiliated Medical Groups

.Everyone can create art…imagination. 

NOT in the slow lane, YET

The blog is about living life after 70 with joy, resilience, and purpose. NOT in the slow lane, YET is a source of positive, helpful advice encouraging people to set and achieve goals and find joy in life. The blog will cover personal experiences and thoughts and concerns. Topics of blogs will be health, retirement, fashion, travel, and living in continuing care retirement communities. The blogs will be short and appear at least once a month on my website www.nadineblock.com or by email if you choose. Come walk with me.

HELPING NEW RESIDENTS ADJUST TO CONTINUING CARE RETIREMENT COMMUNITIES

I have lived in a Continuing Care Retirement Community (CCRC) for almost two years.  I chair our care community’s Ambassador Committee. The committee is composed of a dozen gregarious, helpful, and caring residents who volunteer to  help new residents make a comfortable adjustment to our CCRC.  As residents, we know the community and have memories of our own adjustment here.  We make new residents  feel safe and comfortable.

Ambassador Committees are an important part of most CCRCs.  Adjusting to living in these communities requires a substantial change in life for most people.  Most new residents in our community are moving  from single family homes. They are unaccustomed to living in multi-dwelling buildings.  I lived half of my adult years in condominiums so the transition to the CCRC multi-family dwelling facility was easy. 

Friends are a buffer against loss and sorrow.  At our age, we have experienced many happy memories, but we have also experienced loss, grieving, failure, and sorrow. When I moved in two years ago,  I had recently  lost my youngest son to cancer. My  husband had advanced vascular dementia and was in an assisted living facility. I was not alone in shouldering loss and carrying sorrow.  I had company.

Ambassadors are chosen for their ease in meeting people, their kindness, and their willingness to spend as much time as needed with new residents to help them get to know the campus and the activities here.  They attend monthly meetings and help develop informational materials for new residents.  They  share information on health and safety,  how to get maintenance help, and how to contact staff who can help them. We alert them  to helpful  community  publications. We offer personal tours. We help them make social connections through dining, interest groups, and  events.  Our Ambassadors try to put themselves in the shoes of  new residents who might lock themselves out, be scared by fire alarms, do not understand the dues billing, and how to get their state driver’s license.

Ambassadors introduce new residents to other residents. An example of an Ambassador welcoming activity in our community is “Wine and Welcome.”

“Wine and Welcome” is a monthly affair with wine and appetizers. It is sponsored by the community marketing department. Parties like this one are well attended.  Ambassadors introduce residents who have moved in since the previous month. Usually they are entertaining as well as informative.  I recently began to introduce  a new resident who announced that he preferred to introduce himself.  I asked him if he knew about the “Two Minute Rule” (keep the introduction short).  He said he was a judge, and I was overruled.  

NOT in the slow lane, YET 

The blog is about living life after 70 with joy, resilience, and purpose. NOT in the slow lane, YET is a source of positive, helpful advice encouraging people to set and achieve goals  and find joy in life. The blog will cover personal experiences and thoughts and concerns. Topics of blogs will include health, retirement, fashion, travel, and  living in continuing care retirement communities. The blogs will be short and appear at least once a month on my website www.nadineblock.com or by email if you choose.

Thoughts About Art After My Exhibition Ends

A few days ago, I took down an exhibition of my art at our continuing care retirement community.  My oil painting collection had been up for two months, and another artist patiently waited for my paintings to come down so she could hang her treasures.  I began musing over the show and what I had learned from the experience.

The art committee chair asked me to share my paintings about three months ago. I had given away or sold my paintings when I moved to my continuing care retirement community.   I have since  produced only eight new paintings.   The rest would come from previous work.  I decided I would learn how to frame them.  It costs $200-400 to get midsize paintings professionally framed. I could do it for less than half of the cost.   A fellow art committee member helped me with  drilling and screw placement. It was a new skill for these octogenarians.  

I had thirteen paintings in the show.  Three sold, four were not for sale, two were donated, and four remained unsold.  It was fun to do the paintings, fun to relive my memories though painting, and fun to make people happy.  The  money raised was given to a Foundation which supports our community residents  whose money has run out, so they do not have to  leave. 

The gallery is on both  sides of  a long hallway on the way to the Health Care Center from Independent Living facilities.  Many people, visitors,  staff, residents, some in wheelchairs and walkers, go by the paintings every day.   I enjoyed watching them looking at my paintings.  They told me they found the paintings  fun,  colorful and joyful.  

I do not expect everyone to love my work.  What one person finds beautiful, another might find boring, or ugly.  We bring individual experiences, knowledge of art and individual tastes to observing visual art.  People are  entitled to their own opinions and artists learn to live with that.  Those who persist in producing art often do it for personal reasons.  I must paint.  It makes me happy.  It stirs up my creativity. It makes me feel productive and worthwhile. You could throw rotten  tomatoes at my art.  I would persist.

I painted from  photos of family, and photos of sights and people on my trips.  I love painting photos of trips. Memories of three weeks in many Turkish destinations, lush foliage in the south of India, and ten days of sights in Havana, Cuba flooded my mind as I painted. 

I give names to my paintings.  Some artists do not do that.  They want you to figure them out and give them your special names.   I can understand why they do that for abstract paintings but otherwise it seems pretentious. Names of paintings in my show included  “The Way Home,” “Istanbul Market,” “Blooming Fantasy,” “Remembering Rosie,” “Fall Blooms,” “Hopes and Dreams,” and “Sassy Sisters.” I sign and name my paintings and write a brief paragraph describing the subject to post next to the painting. I hope the story will bring paintings to life for people who viewed them.  The stories  I wrote about the paintings included:

An oil painting, cartoon style, of my sisters and me.  They both hate the painting. The sister who  draws the short straw will get it.

 “ISTANBUL MARKET”    The Kadıköy market district, on the Asian shore of the Bosporus, has bright fruits and vegetables, lots of fish, and good restaurants. 

“ LITTLE FARM GIRLS 1940”

“SOUTHERN INDIA FOLIAGE IN BLUE”

I sold an earth-toned painting of this subject to a man who came to my first exhibition in 2016.  His wife called me to tell me a couple of years ago that he died.  He loved the painting so much he had it brought to his care facility room when he was dying.  I wept.  

I did this oil painting with some of the same foliage I had photographed in Southern India, but in blue. It still brings a tear to my eye.

I hope you have enjoyed a tour of some of my paintings.  

My art show is over.  I hope I will be able to produce more art and to learn new skills for a future exhibition.  I go away with the memory of a man in a wheelchair who was looking at a painting of a country road, “The Way Home.”  His aide pointed me out and told him I was the artist.  He smiled and said, “That brings back such wonderful memories of my childhood.”  A tear came to his eye.  And to mine.

I hope you enjoyed a tour of some of my exhibits.